12 week countdown Part 1.

Part 1.

So the start of my prep started in about October but the countdown and depletion of certain foods started in January. Every plan is different and you have to find what works for you.. there’s lots of different plans out there and even I get very confused with it all but I’m more than happy with mine as at the end of the day I want my plan to help me live a clean & healthy lifestyle and for now this is what works for me.

Since I started and was on my way with my plans.. I never once cheated. I did exactly what my plan said. So was clean eating all week and was allowed 1 x cheat meal per week.. At the beginning I was still opting for a clean cheat so I would just make a homemade pizza and would have clean eating desserts. As the weeks went on there was more and more temptations or would be someone’s birthday then it was Christmas and New Year etc. so that’s when I decided to actually treat myself on cheat meals and have what everyone else was having on the special occasion or whatever it was I craving which is fine to do too. Nutrition was going well and I was really happy with my training  I would get up at 5.30am as my training sessions would take me approximately 2-2.5hrs to get through that’s doing a weight training and cardio straight after. I was training 5 times a week with 2 rest days, with one of those rest days normally being a walk with a friend on the coast. I trained really freekin hard therefore those rest days were much needed.

I didn’t tell many people I was doing the comp besides family and mentioned it only to a couple of my very close friends. The main reason for not blurting it out to the world was because I was nervous I wasn’t going to be able to do it and if I didn’t tell anyone then no one will be disappointed, and I didn’t want anyone’s opinions as I was doing this for me and people can very easily persuade you to do differently. In this time I had distanced myself a lot from my friends as I just wanted to focus on my plan & I struggled with the temptation of foods if I were to go out, so for me it was easier to have a night in and to be honest I preferred it as I was so exhausted most of the time from working so much, training, cooking my meals it takes so much out of you I can’t even explain. I also work weekends so is very hard for me to catch up with people, mind you it made staying on plan easier as when it comes to weekend it’s so easy to go off track on those social days.

*Just a little side note that I have learnt & for those people who do put off seeing their friends because of their specific meal plans I definitely recommend you explain what your plan is all about to your close friends as this is something that could hurt a friendship – you believing and thinking they don’t or wouldn’t understand isn’t fair on them as you haven’t given them a chance to understand. So instead of saying you can’t have this and that to them when they invite you out for lunch or dinner you need to tell them a bit more on what you can eat therefore they can get a better understanding in order for them to support you completely. You need to explain to them why you’re doing it and what’s involved then they’d understand and it won’t be a big issue for future.*

I was very good at staying on plan, eating accordingly and training was spot on never missed a session nor did I skip a minute of cardio or exercise. It was hard going but I just knew that I wanted it so bad and if I did exactly what they say then there’s no reason for me to not get that body I so badly wanted.

When cheat meal came around I was very specific in who I wanted to spend this time with as it was one night I didn’t have to think about what I was eating or what I was going to cook that sought of thing so most of the time I would spend it with my partner, my family or my very best friends. When my diet became very strict I was getting slightly more cravings so for cheat meal I indulged a lot and I could eat so much as my metabolism is so much faster then everyone else’s so I didn’t want to be out with people thinking I was such a pig haha. I had to be around people that knew what I was like & who liked to indulge with me. Although I was also a big secret eater.. so I would eat a cupcake or tim tams before I got home & not tell anyone so they didn’t think I was over eating on cheat meal although I was still eating a lot anyway I doubt that would make them think any differently lol – but it was just a weird habit I picked up. Even before comp I was a big chocoholic - I would eat family blocks of chocolate all to myself every day so going a plan was a big test for me so I think instead of eating chocolate every day I turned in to a bit of a binge eater during prep.. So cheat meal after 5pm I would eat sooo much food until I went to bed when it was as if I wasn’t going to be fed again. That is something I have struggled with is my binge eating on cheat meals but I have improved so much since those days which I’d love to go into more detail about in another blog update.

So throughout prep I felt really good about myself & I was loving my changes.. I took photos every 4 weeks to track my progress as you definitely can’t notice change yourself but when you look back at photos that’s when you go ‘wow I have changed’.

One thing I have learned is to trust the process I use to think oh god I look the same still nothings changing but when you revert back to photos and measurements it keeps you focused and on track.. Even the 2 weeks leading up to comp I was getting worried I wasn’t lean enough but I would keep that thought in my head trust the process – and I did.. Did exactly what I was supposed to do and the plans worked you just have to be patient and don’t lose sight of it.. Always believe in yourself, your plan and the people who will get you there, it all comes together in the end.

It also got to me that people didn’t notice my changes at the beginning, no one was really commenting on my shape besides of course my trainer & nutritionist (always keeping me positive J) and a few people at the gym but I was wanting my family and friends to notice but they never really did.. when I think about it now I think they probably did but I was perhaps wanting more from them or more of a dramatic reaction or something – but really I see them all the time so I guess they wouldn’t notice.. I didn’t think like that at the time but it also wasn’t a massive issue. I did get the girls at work always commenting on my appearance though which meant so much to me.. they’re the most supportive people and I feel very lucky to work with so many amazing and supportive girls.

So I’m sure you all wondering what it’s like being on a comp plan.. For me I went with a nutritionist that had my best interests at heart.. I said I wanted a healthier lifestyle, I’m not one for too much strictness as I like to be able to enjoy life and the varieties of food as of course you want to look good at all times and still be able to enjoy food so my nutritionist at Naed Nutrition was perfect for me.. flexible and a lot of variety making sure I don’t get any metabolic damage as what some plans can do to people when they’re extremely strict and girls don’t reverse diet back after comp. My health means more to me than winning a comp but I believed I could still be a strong competitor even without an extreme diet like some girls do have. If I wanted it that bad I would get it through a well-balanced diet and training hard. I also wanted to do everything naturally I am a very anxious person and a lot of things set my anxiety off so anything different, caffeine, medications, drinks so many things so throughout my prep the only supplements I took were BCA’s, L-glutamine & protein powder after my workout. It just goes to show with determination & hard work you can still be a fierce competitor.

 You have to really think why you want to compete and I didn’t want to get caught up on all the seriousness and competitiveness but I did want to be a part of such a great event and to be on stage showing off all the hard work I done.. It’s a very empowering feeling.

At the beginning I must admit I was chasing that feeling of winning. I hadn’t had that feeling before.. you know that feeling when they announce a winner and it’s your name they call and you are so shocked you cry and your stomach turns because you can’t believe it’s actually you. I wanted that feeling, I had seen so many videos whether it be people winning, a surprise party for them, soldiers coming home and surprising there family it was just that feeling I was desperately wanting & I thought if I were to win I would get that feeling.. But I learnt throughout the journey what feeling I was really longing for..

 I found at the end of the day what interest me more and what I wanted to do was to do it for myself but I’m also that person that wants to do this as a lifestyle and I want to use my experience to help inspire and motivate other people as that means so much more to me and that way I can continue that good feeling and shared happiness with everyone.

During prep I must admit there were a lot of hard times.. I felt I basically did this prep on my own, of course I had support but its up to me to get myself there.. I didn’t actually have someone close enough to me to ask questions and make sure I was on the right track, yes I had my trainer and nutritionist but I felt I needed someone else who had been through it so I could relate to them and what they went through to make sure it was normal.. So all the hard times I got threw by myself not knowing if it was normal or not. I remember a lot of crying.. I would sit in my room and cry because I had no energy to cook my dinner, I would sit in my car just to have a few minutes to be by myself, I would go to bed so early because I was so emotional and the amount of times I wanted to give up because it felt all too hard. I was soo moody I remember I went into work one day & I love my job but when I got there I saw soo many customers waiting to be served and I just turned around and walked off .. I wasn’t in the mood to be busy and I instantly was pissed off so I had to chill out for a bit until it had died down before I could serve.. was very strange, also there was this one time at work I felt so out of it and sick that I started crying.. I had no idea why I was crying and I was shaking so much, lucky the girls on the counter next to me sat me down and looked after me.. apparently I was having a sugar come down as I had a cheat meal the night before and obviously my body wasn’t responding very well to it and by lunch I was crashing so the girls gave me a lolly snake to help my sugar levels and I was fine after a while but gosh there were so many funny things like that but not as bad that I would think I just wish I knew if it was all normal.. Now I know it all was normal because this time round I’m in prep with a friend whose first time it is and she asks me the exact questions I wanted to ask someone.. Its sooo much better going through this with someone else this time around makes things just that little bit easier.

Also I just want to touch on if you are in comp prep I definitely recommend you not tell anyone about your training or food plan I remember a few competitors who had done it before and other people that knew someone who had done comps would ask me what my plan was like and I ended up telling them as to me I felt like they had done prep before so I kinda wanted that confirmation I was doing it right.. but when I told them I swear they all said ‘ahhh why are you doing that’,’ you shouldn’t be eating that’ ‘oh why are you training that way’ - it was because they didn’t do it so to them mine was wrong?.. this got to me soo much.. it was such a negative energy towards me and it effected my training and eating.. one day my angel of a trainer Seaneen had come in at the right time.. I couldn’t train properly as I had this going over in my head that I was doing it all wrong I was actually borderline about to cry during training but Seaneen sat with me and explained that people will try and knock you down and that they’re only saying its wrong because it’s not what they did but truthfully not everyone’s plan is the same.. and why should it be were all different body shapes so you have to remember trust your plan and by telling people your plan it’s only going to make it harder for you and more stressful on yourself as you’re going to get different versions on what’s right and wrong then you lose your focus from thinking about what everyone’s said. So save yourself the stress and do your own thing there’s no need to get any ones input you don’t need negativity. Trust your trainer and your nutritionist at all times this is about you and your journey. I am very thankful for the advice Seaneen gave me that day.

So after a lot of hard times there were a lot of good times like the feeling of knowing how hard you’ve worked and how much I have learnt about nutrition training and soooo much about myself.. I didn’t realise how strong of a person I was and how much determination was in me until I done something like this.. I actually really loved training eating well and having something to look forward too.. I’v said previously that at first I was in it to win it but after a few weeks in you realise it isn’t about winning it’s about the journey along the way..

I got very ill very close to comp I think I was about 5weeks out and I was out of action for about a week so no training and I couldn’t eat a thing on my plan only dry foods. It broke my heart as I was thinking ‘please no this is my first comp and I want to do it so bad i just want to be better’. I didn’t care if I were to win I just wanted to be a part of it and be on stage for myself. My trainer Seaneen and nutritionist Sinead reassured me that although I was sick to not stress and get back on plan when I’m recovered (it felt like I was never getting better lol) but I did finally get better I eased back into it slowly and just kept my focus.

Then a week later I’m sick again. So I’m 4 weeks away which is a massive deal and I’m sick! I went to the doctors and she said she was pretty sure I had appendicitis now OH MY F******  GOD!!! Excuse my curse word but I literally felt like the world was against me. I remember driving home just crying my eyes out I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep I was heartbroken to think that’s what I have as we all know this means surgery asap. So I had to wait till the next day to find out my results and as much as I tried to stay positive I just kept thinking “please no.. I’ve worked so hard for it all to just be over in a split second”.. I tried to think as positively as possible but I must say google wasn’t helping me – never look to google to make you better, it makes everything 10x worse haha.

The next day came around and I go see my doctor and she lets me know “I DON’T have appendicitis” oh my god the joy!! Apparently it was from the virus I had that was obviously lingering around but other than that I’m good. Now after hearing that I had more fight in me then I ever have had before I was like “Yess nothing will stop me now” and I would train soo hard because I wanted it that much more.. I had been imagining going on stage for weeks.. Every time I drove down the freeway (not sure why it was the freeway but it was lol) and I would have this feeling overcome me that would make me shiver because I was soo excited about being in the comp.. I still get it now thinking about my next comp I get butterflies and a big smile across my face because it makes me so happy.