12 week countdown to IFBB comp October 2014

12 week countdown to IFBB comp October 2014

So this is the first week of the 12 week countdown till the IFBB comp in October. I have been on plan for a few months now so my diet doesn't just dramatically change all of a sudden as I've been eating on plan for sometime. The difference would be just cutting down some of my carbs. But for me my first week is a little different! I had to get my wisdom teeth out... Nooooooooo!
This was only organised 2 weeks ago and I needed all four out asap.. So I booked the next available hospital appointment and that was that. I couldn't wait any longer as they were giving me a bit of grief and I thought its best out now before comp prep but it just so happens its the starting week.. But I thought I'd be fine, thought I could organise all my meals for when I recovered so my healthy soups and smoothies.. But boy was I wrong..


What I found was that I was extremely exhausted going into my 12 week countdown and I feel that this moment where I had to get my wisdom teeth out came for a reason. If I didn't rest now then I think I would of hurt my body in the long run. You see I push myself to the limits I never know when to stop or rest and it wasn't until someone asked me that question "how are you coping with comp prep" and I said im doing extremely well.. I have more energy when I eat right and loving training etc. but when they asked me about surgery and how I felt about that I then said "oh I'm really looking forward to having time to rest." So somehow I've contradicted myself and wasn't aware until being asked that question to follow. I didn't realise that that's how exhausted I was. I was excited to have surgery because I could rest? For me that meant; no meal prepping no training no working no cleaning or washing I was like yes I can do absolutely nothing. You see in comp prep the only thing that goes on in your mind is training, meal prep, working and sleep. There's no extra room in your mind for flexibility.. No time to think about anything else. This may just be me though as I haven't yet learnt to balance everything in life.. I find I don't have time to myself to just think or to spend time with my partner, family or friends. When I really thought about it I may see them but im not really with it.. Im constantly trying to get on top of everything in life like my meals and cleaning etc. and once its done im exhausted yet I know I have to repeat it all again in just a few days. So its very exhausting to think about and don't have much time for anything else especially a social life. But this is what its all about.. Im doing it for me and only me and I enjoy it.. Just got to find a balance so this is something im still learning to find.

So for post surgery I wanted to be organised and I felt I could carry on eating well even if I couldn't eat my proper meals I could still eat my smoothies I made and soups. but in all honesty no matter how hard I tried I couldn't eat the food I made.. You know that feeling your body tells you when your unwell to eat dry foods that's how I felt.. My body telling me to not have to think about food just eat what your craving. I tried to drink my smoothies I made but they didn't taste good and I made them Quite thick so wasn't easy to go down. Same as my soups I didn't blend them enough so the chicken was quite chunky. I could of blended them up but Nathan's mum was working night shifts so I couldn't blend them until she woke which was at 4pm that day and its now 9.30am and I'm starving. So I decided to have jelly.. Jelly was so easy to eat as you don't have to chew whatsoever.. Same as yoghurt, ice cream and mousses. I ended up eating all that food in the end because I couldn't move my mouth its easy for them to melt on your tongue and swallow and it cooled my mouth down. I also wasn't feeling like any of my food I had pre made I just felt like I couldn't stomach it so that's why I thought I'd eat what I could manage.. I also had no energy, the pain killers made me so drowsy I couldn't be bothered to make meals either so whatever I had in the fridge I would eat..

I have to admit I felt like my body needed to eat this food as I was about to get quite strict these next 12 weeks and I think I should of relaxed a little bit on my diet before hand and enjoyed some social times with my partner family and friends before I got into this next prep but I didn't so now im thinking this is what these days off are for. For me to relax and get back to thinking like myself again before I get myself back into prep.. Its been 3days now of not staying on plan and do I feel guilty..? Yes of course! but there's something that separates me from other people who dwell on that guilt. I don't give up. I accept I've eaten bad but happy to keep going and get back into it as soon as im recovered. Don't get stuck in that guilty rut! These few days I have been in the headspace where I understood why people want to give up. You start thinking 'meh I've already eaten bad I'll just start on Monday and people just keep pushing back the start date of eating right. But what helps me was thinking - eat the food I need to eat for recovery and when im ready I'll get back into it. There's no giving up you just accept you've eaten that type of food and move on and go ok I had a bad day of eating but I'll be back on track tomorrow and you just keep going never give up. Even today I wanted to be back on plan but im still not 100% better as I can't eat certain food but I'm trying.. I've included some of my plan food back into my diet so im easing myself back into it so by Monday I should be 100% again.

 In my head im thinking I've already stuffed up my comp prep as everyone else is already on plan perfectly. Then I thought.. So what!! So what if they have had a better start there's no reason why I can't get back into next week even if I had a bad start.. Im doing it for me.. Nothing else matters. I have been on plan for months before hand and its only this week that I've had a set back but you know what I'm not going to dwell on that feeling im going to keep pushing on as this is something I love doing and I want to continue it forever. Its not a diet, its not a one time thing, its something I do daily its my lifestyle so I cant wait to get back to feeling myself again:)


Winners are not people who never fail but people who never quit!

12 week Countdown Part 2.

PART 2

The final weeks of comp were coming 3 weeks to go and I was doing great I could feel how close it was so that’s when the excitement set it and the fun begins with picking up your bikini – which I was soooo excited about I loved my bikini by Claire skeet. She was amazing.. When I got there I was clueless as to what I wanted and she’s been doing this a long time so I had her decide for me. She would know better than anyone and we decided on Yellow. Yellow is my favourite colour as well as it reminds me of sunshine and smiles (silly I know but it did) after picking a comp bikini colour we all keep it a secret.. It’s kind of like that feeling I’m guessing when you get a wedding dress and you don’t want to show anyone until the day so everyone’s surprised hehe. And I loved going to posing practice and strutting around in my heels but I struggled at tensing my muscles and especially my back pose so this was what I am to work on this time round. Before comp I had watched Youtube videos and previous shows so I could prepare myself as much as possible. I saved videos on my phone and would watch them every night as I wondered what sought of presence I would have on stage, going over poses in my head and how I would walk.

It was also my birthday the week before comp which got to me a bit.. I haven’t had my birthday in Perth for the past 2 years due to me being away for work (modelling work which is fun but still I like my family time) and so I felt like I couldn’t celebrate it properly again for a 3^rd time.. Normally birthdays are food related outings so I decided to go to Rottnest with my fiancé to keep my mind of my meal plan. Was a fun day but somehow it’s not the same without cake lol.

When it got to the final week I didn’t even care about how bland the food was as I was that excited, and the water got up’d a lot so my water bottle became my baby it came everywhere with me – if I nipped up to the shop then realise I had forgotten my water bottle I automatically would go into "Im sooo thirsty" mode.– even now you won’t see me without my water bottle.

 Also in the final week diet I decided I’d try salmon. I didn’t like salmon but I thought I’d give it a go anyway. So I go to the shop and buy this massive bag of salmon and when I got home I tasted it and absolutely loved it, it was that ‘Its too good to be true’ moment so I ask my trainer about it as I was seeing her straight after buying it. She said what kind of salmon did you buy and I said “smoked Salmon” I know this must sound like I’m so stupid but I actually had no idea on the difference – like I said before I was new at this cooking and food thing lol and she said ‘Noo Courtney you can’t have smoked salmon its full of salt’. Oh my god what an idiot I felt like – I was stressed as well as I was like I hope I haven’t stuffed up my final week ahhhh and then to go out and buy more salmon when I just bought a whole bag of the wrong one and it costs a fortune gahhh. I also was a bit out of it that week perhaps from depletion of diet and excitement and a lot going on but I was doing strange things and forgetting things.. I lost my phone once – I couldn’t remember for the life of me where I had just put it so I got my partner to call it then hearing it inside the fridge lol.. Little things like that happened a bit.

The night before had come round.. I had all my meals packed for the night including my little treats for after the comp and my bags packed for Bali as me & my fiancé organised to fly to Bali for a holiday after comp.. Definitely a much needed getaway. But he booked the wrong flight time which was a 7am flight. My comp finished at 12 so I had nooooo sleep lol. Thanks Nate! But anyway it comes time to get Nathan to put my tan on.. NEVER EVER AGAIN he was the absolute worst lol. It was so uneven and I tried fixing it but I wasn’t any better but I thought I’d apply another layer in the morning anyway.. I applied another layer but it still wasn’t great. We can get marked down for a bad tan so when I got to my hair and makeup the gorgeous Lina Jade actually mentioned about my tan and she said I can’t let you leave with your tan like that so she sprayed me before I left.. I thank her a million times over – girls I say get it sprayed on – It’s easier & 10 x better at evening it out.. That tan does not spread evenly when using a mitt lol. So once I’m all done we make our way to the venue.

When I was on my way I was receiving a lot of msgs of support from everyone and I was excited to see my family and friends there later on that day and you know that feeling I was telling you about at the beginning I was so longing for? the butterflies in my stomach feeling.. Well I had that feeling a few times that day.. I was crying I was so overwhelmed with all the support from family friends and fans. My mum & her partner Darren came to my judging in the morning and a couple of my friends. I can’t express how much that meant to me.. People come for the night show as its all the glitz and glamour but the morning show is the pre judging and to have these people there for that meant so much to me.. It’s just as important as the night time show as technically that’s when they're actually judging you. So once I came off stage I couldn’t wait to see them and ask how I went. They were all so full of positivity and excitement they were so happy for me and they knew how much fun I was having.

Before I have mentioned I have very bad anxiety.. Doing this comp had actually helped me tremendously with it. Keeping focus and being busy is very important in managing anxiety and I must say I didn’t once have an anxiety attack. I had been seeing my psychologist on the lead up to comp as in the past when I was younger with some comps I would refuse to go as I felt so sick and would freak out and I didn’t want that to happen to me this time. So when I saw my psychologist I can’t even explain how much I learnt from seeing her.. The last time I saw her before the comp was to ask her how I could calm myself down before the show and how to be comfortable on stage. I can honestly say everything she said worked!! I’ve attached my video so you can see how much I enjoyed being on stage and how confident I felt. All the girls in the line-up before heading on stage were soo nervous and you could feel the tension and nerves but I wanted to be in control of how I felt so I was staying grounded and thinking to myself how much fun I was going to have on that stage. I was of course nervous but I learnt how to control my nerves and my thinking in order to go on stage and just shine! I seriously loved it on stage it was my very first time ever being on stage and I couldn’t wait to get back on their later that night! After the judging everyone went home or to lunch etc but me and my team stayed and we were practising on stage when no one was there helping each other with posing and walking, I wanted to feel as comfortable as possible on stage for night time show as it was going to be a massive show.

So as the time went on we were all backstage getting ready for the night show.. Touching up our tans, getting our pump on and getting all our photos done it’s all so exciting!! I couldn’t wait for my family and friends to come and see me. Bikini girls were on stage quite late as there was soooooo many of us but finally our time came and I’m just soooooo excited they announce next on stage “Courtney Piercy” and just writing this now literally makes me get tears in my eyes and get the chills because all I heard was my name getting yelled and everyone clapping I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face!!You will see this in my face as I walk out in my video attached haha. I had sooo many people in the audience supporting me and I have to say it makes a massive difference. I had that feeling overcome me like omg these people are here for me.. I was really loving it and just was feeling so confident being up there I can’t even begin to explain how amazing it was. I had a few people mention to me how well I done and that I should place.. that made me really excited and was so nice to hear from people but I also felt like It didn’t matter if I did or didn’t as I was having such an amazing time. They then announce all the bikini girls on stage.. there’s so many of us we barely fit on stage lol. So up next is bikini novice short class. They ask if your number is called then please step back.. All I hear is ‘go Courtney’ soooo many people yelling out my name I was so nervous. So they announce the numbers and OH MY GOD number 65 please take a step back… oh my god oh my oh my god that’s me.. It means I placed I was sooooooo happy. They announce 3^rd place Shannell grant. Here I am again just freekin happy to of even stepped on stage little own place then to hear I’m either 2^nd or 1^st I was feeling so many emotions. Then they announced 2^nd place Courtney Piercy” I couldn’t believe it.. my eyes widened and my hands covered my face in shock.. I am sooo happy! So I hug the gorgeous Shannell and congratulate her and 1^st place went to the beautiful Simona. Sooo happy and excited I gave her a hug and congratulated her. We took our placing’s pic and off the stage we go.. I’m so excited I just kept mouthing thankyou thankyou to the judges. I came off stage and I saw my partner and I just start crying. I’m crying now just thinking about it - this was the moment I was longing for – yes the feeling of placing but more to the fact my partner was there with that face that says omg I’m so proud of you. I gave him a massive hug and he’s all like I told you I told you, you would place haha. Then I see all my family & friends run around back stage. I remember my dad saying to me omg I swear you didn’t look like that a week ago haha ‘I’m so proud of you, I want you to keep this up as I can see how happy it makes you and ill support you all the way” this was very special moment for me.. I can’t even explain how much that means to me coming from him.
My mum & her partner couldn’t make my night show for a certain reason and I fully understand I would have loved to have them there & they were quite upset they couldn’t make it. I was so grateful they were there for the pre judging though that also meant so much to me. My mum was getting all the updates from the night show from my sisters over the phone.. so she was there every step of the way.

 I then see all my sisters and my brother and they’re all so proud of me – it’s just that moment that gives you chills the way your family look at you when they’re so proud of you. I was just crying from all the love and support they gave me.  My friends pop round backstage to congratulate me and aww if you could see their faces too they were all as excited as I was!! I love how amazing friends are when they can feel what you feel.. I adore them all so much and  I thank every single one of you who were supporting me whether it be at the show or through msgs or social media It was that was the feeling I was longing for and to have them all a part of it was what I really wanted.

Thankyou to my fiancé, my family, my friends, my nutritionist, my trainer and of course to my fiancés mum & dad – you all were there for me from start to finish through some of the most hardest times I’ve ever had you all supported me no matter what you all knew how much it meant to me and every day you guys were there for me. These people dealt with my mood swings, my Hunger anger at times, my lack of energy, all my food taking up all the room in their fridge and freezer, me crying over food, its mostly all food related lol but when people believe in you and want you to succeed it’s the most amazing feeling so I thank them all for being such amazing human beings.

After the show everyone went home but I really wanted to stay and watch the rest of the show and support everyone else that took the stage. I had an early flight to catch but I didn’t care I was on such a high. After the show I got to meet so many of the people who motivate and inspire me. I managed to talk and get a photo with Danka O’mara, Larissa Reis & Tony Doherty.

Once everyone had finished on stage I was eager to talk with the judges to thank them & to also get some feedback. The three judges I got to speak to and get photos with are 3 very inspiring, motivating and empowering women they are people I look up to and admire. Amanda Doherty, Summer Bernard & Nina Silic. They are the most stunning and beautiful women on the inside and out and they gave me great feedback and I really enjoyed chatting to them.. Lucky I managed to get a photo too. I Have attached links to all the people mentioned in this blog so you too can follow their journey as they helped me so much.

Always support the locals :)

My fan page: https://www.facebook.com/CourtneyPiercyModel?ref=hl
Instagram - @courtney_piercy

My trainer: https://www.facebook.com/seaneencopeland.fitnessjourney?fref=ts
Instagram @seaneencopeland

My nutritionist: FB -https://www.facebook.com/naednutrition?fref=ts
Instagram - @naednutrition

Creative bikinis by Claire Skeet: FB - https://www.facebook.com/CreativeBikinis?fref=ts
Instagram @creativebikinis

Makeup, Hair & tanning by Lina Jade: FB - https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ultimate-Beauty-By-Lina-Jade/156015817770365?fref=ts

Amanda Doherty – FB: https://www.facebook.com/amandadohertyfigurepro?fref=ts
Instagram @amandadoherty

Tony Doherty – Instagram @tonydohertyoz

Summer Bernard: FB - https://www.facebook.com/summer.bernard?fref=ts
Instagram @summerbernard

Nina Silic: FB - https://www.facebook.com/ninamuscleworx?fref=ts
Instagram @nini_bikini

Danka O’mara: Instagram @aussiefitnessprincess

Larissa Reis: FB - https://www.facebook.com/LarissaReisInc?fref=ts
Instagram @larssareis007

 

 

12 week countdown Part 1.

Part 1.

So the start of my prep started in about October but the countdown and depletion of certain foods started in January. Every plan is different and you have to find what works for you.. there’s lots of different plans out there and even I get very confused with it all but I’m more than happy with mine as at the end of the day I want my plan to help me live a clean & healthy lifestyle and for now this is what works for me.

Since I started and was on my way with my plans.. I never once cheated. I did exactly what my plan said. So was clean eating all week and was allowed 1 x cheat meal per week.. At the beginning I was still opting for a clean cheat so I would just make a homemade pizza and would have clean eating desserts. As the weeks went on there was more and more temptations or would be someone’s birthday then it was Christmas and New Year etc. so that’s when I decided to actually treat myself on cheat meals and have what everyone else was having on the special occasion or whatever it was I craving which is fine to do too. Nutrition was going well and I was really happy with my training  I would get up at 5.30am as my training sessions would take me approximately 2-2.5hrs to get through that’s doing a weight training and cardio straight after. I was training 5 times a week with 2 rest days, with one of those rest days normally being a walk with a friend on the coast. I trained really freekin hard therefore those rest days were much needed.

I didn’t tell many people I was doing the comp besides family and mentioned it only to a couple of my very close friends. The main reason for not blurting it out to the world was because I was nervous I wasn’t going to be able to do it and if I didn’t tell anyone then no one will be disappointed, and I didn’t want anyone’s opinions as I was doing this for me and people can very easily persuade you to do differently. In this time I had distanced myself a lot from my friends as I just wanted to focus on my plan & I struggled with the temptation of foods if I were to go out, so for me it was easier to have a night in and to be honest I preferred it as I was so exhausted most of the time from working so much, training, cooking my meals it takes so much out of you I can’t even explain. I also work weekends so is very hard for me to catch up with people, mind you it made staying on plan easier as when it comes to weekend it’s so easy to go off track on those social days.

*Just a little side note that I have learnt & for those people who do put off seeing their friends because of their specific meal plans I definitely recommend you explain what your plan is all about to your close friends as this is something that could hurt a friendship – you believing and thinking they don’t or wouldn’t understand isn’t fair on them as you haven’t given them a chance to understand. So instead of saying you can’t have this and that to them when they invite you out for lunch or dinner you need to tell them a bit more on what you can eat therefore they can get a better understanding in order for them to support you completely. You need to explain to them why you’re doing it and what’s involved then they’d understand and it won’t be a big issue for future.*

I was very good at staying on plan, eating accordingly and training was spot on never missed a session nor did I skip a minute of cardio or exercise. It was hard going but I just knew that I wanted it so bad and if I did exactly what they say then there’s no reason for me to not get that body I so badly wanted.

When cheat meal came around I was very specific in who I wanted to spend this time with as it was one night I didn’t have to think about what I was eating or what I was going to cook that sought of thing so most of the time I would spend it with my partner, my family or my very best friends. When my diet became very strict I was getting slightly more cravings so for cheat meal I indulged a lot and I could eat so much as my metabolism is so much faster then everyone else’s so I didn’t want to be out with people thinking I was such a pig haha. I had to be around people that knew what I was like & who liked to indulge with me. Although I was also a big secret eater.. so I would eat a cupcake or tim tams before I got home & not tell anyone so they didn’t think I was over eating on cheat meal although I was still eating a lot anyway I doubt that would make them think any differently lol – but it was just a weird habit I picked up. Even before comp I was a big chocoholic - I would eat family blocks of chocolate all to myself every day so going a plan was a big test for me so I think instead of eating chocolate every day I turned in to a bit of a binge eater during prep.. So cheat meal after 5pm I would eat sooo much food until I went to bed when it was as if I wasn’t going to be fed again. That is something I have struggled with is my binge eating on cheat meals but I have improved so much since those days which I’d love to go into more detail about in another blog update.

So throughout prep I felt really good about myself & I was loving my changes.. I took photos every 4 weeks to track my progress as you definitely can’t notice change yourself but when you look back at photos that’s when you go ‘wow I have changed’.

One thing I have learned is to trust the process I use to think oh god I look the same still nothings changing but when you revert back to photos and measurements it keeps you focused and on track.. Even the 2 weeks leading up to comp I was getting worried I wasn’t lean enough but I would keep that thought in my head trust the process – and I did.. Did exactly what I was supposed to do and the plans worked you just have to be patient and don’t lose sight of it.. Always believe in yourself, your plan and the people who will get you there, it all comes together in the end.

It also got to me that people didn’t notice my changes at the beginning, no one was really commenting on my shape besides of course my trainer & nutritionist (always keeping me positive J) and a few people at the gym but I was wanting my family and friends to notice but they never really did.. when I think about it now I think they probably did but I was perhaps wanting more from them or more of a dramatic reaction or something – but really I see them all the time so I guess they wouldn’t notice.. I didn’t think like that at the time but it also wasn’t a massive issue. I did get the girls at work always commenting on my appearance though which meant so much to me.. they’re the most supportive people and I feel very lucky to work with so many amazing and supportive girls.

So I’m sure you all wondering what it’s like being on a comp plan.. For me I went with a nutritionist that had my best interests at heart.. I said I wanted a healthier lifestyle, I’m not one for too much strictness as I like to be able to enjoy life and the varieties of food as of course you want to look good at all times and still be able to enjoy food so my nutritionist at Naed Nutrition was perfect for me.. flexible and a lot of variety making sure I don’t get any metabolic damage as what some plans can do to people when they’re extremely strict and girls don’t reverse diet back after comp. My health means more to me than winning a comp but I believed I could still be a strong competitor even without an extreme diet like some girls do have. If I wanted it that bad I would get it through a well-balanced diet and training hard. I also wanted to do everything naturally I am a very anxious person and a lot of things set my anxiety off so anything different, caffeine, medications, drinks so many things so throughout my prep the only supplements I took were BCA’s, L-glutamine & protein powder after my workout. It just goes to show with determination & hard work you can still be a fierce competitor.

 You have to really think why you want to compete and I didn’t want to get caught up on all the seriousness and competitiveness but I did want to be a part of such a great event and to be on stage showing off all the hard work I done.. It’s a very empowering feeling.

At the beginning I must admit I was chasing that feeling of winning. I hadn’t had that feeling before.. you know that feeling when they announce a winner and it’s your name they call and you are so shocked you cry and your stomach turns because you can’t believe it’s actually you. I wanted that feeling, I had seen so many videos whether it be people winning, a surprise party for them, soldiers coming home and surprising there family it was just that feeling I was desperately wanting & I thought if I were to win I would get that feeling.. But I learnt throughout the journey what feeling I was really longing for..

 I found at the end of the day what interest me more and what I wanted to do was to do it for myself but I’m also that person that wants to do this as a lifestyle and I want to use my experience to help inspire and motivate other people as that means so much more to me and that way I can continue that good feeling and shared happiness with everyone.

During prep I must admit there were a lot of hard times.. I felt I basically did this prep on my own, of course I had support but its up to me to get myself there.. I didn’t actually have someone close enough to me to ask questions and make sure I was on the right track, yes I had my trainer and nutritionist but I felt I needed someone else who had been through it so I could relate to them and what they went through to make sure it was normal.. So all the hard times I got threw by myself not knowing if it was normal or not. I remember a lot of crying.. I would sit in my room and cry because I had no energy to cook my dinner, I would sit in my car just to have a few minutes to be by myself, I would go to bed so early because I was so emotional and the amount of times I wanted to give up because it felt all too hard. I was soo moody I remember I went into work one day & I love my job but when I got there I saw soo many customers waiting to be served and I just turned around and walked off .. I wasn’t in the mood to be busy and I instantly was pissed off so I had to chill out for a bit until it had died down before I could serve.. was very strange, also there was this one time at work I felt so out of it and sick that I started crying.. I had no idea why I was crying and I was shaking so much, lucky the girls on the counter next to me sat me down and looked after me.. apparently I was having a sugar come down as I had a cheat meal the night before and obviously my body wasn’t responding very well to it and by lunch I was crashing so the girls gave me a lolly snake to help my sugar levels and I was fine after a while but gosh there were so many funny things like that but not as bad that I would think I just wish I knew if it was all normal.. Now I know it all was normal because this time round I’m in prep with a friend whose first time it is and she asks me the exact questions I wanted to ask someone.. Its sooo much better going through this with someone else this time around makes things just that little bit easier.

Also I just want to touch on if you are in comp prep I definitely recommend you not tell anyone about your training or food plan I remember a few competitors who had done it before and other people that knew someone who had done comps would ask me what my plan was like and I ended up telling them as to me I felt like they had done prep before so I kinda wanted that confirmation I was doing it right.. but when I told them I swear they all said ‘ahhh why are you doing that’,’ you shouldn’t be eating that’ ‘oh why are you training that way’ - it was because they didn’t do it so to them mine was wrong?.. this got to me soo much.. it was such a negative energy towards me and it effected my training and eating.. one day my angel of a trainer Seaneen had come in at the right time.. I couldn’t train properly as I had this going over in my head that I was doing it all wrong I was actually borderline about to cry during training but Seaneen sat with me and explained that people will try and knock you down and that they’re only saying its wrong because it’s not what they did but truthfully not everyone’s plan is the same.. and why should it be were all different body shapes so you have to remember trust your plan and by telling people your plan it’s only going to make it harder for you and more stressful on yourself as you’re going to get different versions on what’s right and wrong then you lose your focus from thinking about what everyone’s said. So save yourself the stress and do your own thing there’s no need to get any ones input you don’t need negativity. Trust your trainer and your nutritionist at all times this is about you and your journey. I am very thankful for the advice Seaneen gave me that day.

So after a lot of hard times there were a lot of good times like the feeling of knowing how hard you’ve worked and how much I have learnt about nutrition training and soooo much about myself.. I didn’t realise how strong of a person I was and how much determination was in me until I done something like this.. I actually really loved training eating well and having something to look forward too.. I’v said previously that at first I was in it to win it but after a few weeks in you realise it isn’t about winning it’s about the journey along the way..

I got very ill very close to comp I think I was about 5weeks out and I was out of action for about a week so no training and I couldn’t eat a thing on my plan only dry foods. It broke my heart as I was thinking ‘please no this is my first comp and I want to do it so bad i just want to be better’. I didn’t care if I were to win I just wanted to be a part of it and be on stage for myself. My trainer Seaneen and nutritionist Sinead reassured me that although I was sick to not stress and get back on plan when I’m recovered (it felt like I was never getting better lol) but I did finally get better I eased back into it slowly and just kept my focus.

Then a week later I’m sick again. So I’m 4 weeks away which is a massive deal and I’m sick! I went to the doctors and she said she was pretty sure I had appendicitis now OH MY F******  GOD!!! Excuse my curse word but I literally felt like the world was against me. I remember driving home just crying my eyes out I just wanted to curl up in a ball and sleep I was heartbroken to think that’s what I have as we all know this means surgery asap. So I had to wait till the next day to find out my results and as much as I tried to stay positive I just kept thinking “please no.. I’ve worked so hard for it all to just be over in a split second”.. I tried to think as positively as possible but I must say google wasn’t helping me – never look to google to make you better, it makes everything 10x worse haha.

The next day came around and I go see my doctor and she lets me know “I DON’T have appendicitis” oh my god the joy!! Apparently it was from the virus I had that was obviously lingering around but other than that I’m good. Now after hearing that I had more fight in me then I ever have had before I was like “Yess nothing will stop me now” and I would train soo hard because I wanted it that much more.. I had been imagining going on stage for weeks.. Every time I drove down the freeway (not sure why it was the freeway but it was lol) and I would have this feeling overcome me that would make me shiver because I was soo excited about being in the comp.. I still get it now thinking about my next comp I get butterflies and a big smile across my face because it makes me so happy.